A huge passion of mind is advocating for and normalizing nurturing our mental health and well-being. If people go to the doctor for strep throat or a broken bone, why do people hesitate to seek help when they are overcome with depression, overwhelming anxiety, anger, bitterness, or grief? The list goes on…It goes without saying that if we feel better in our own skin this will overflow into our relationships. Self-care isn’t just for you, it’s for those you love most. Your partner, your family, your co-workers, your tribe.
My hope in this blog is to create a space where my passion for relationships and counseling collide. If you are a bride, preparing for your wedding day, let’s take your planning to another level and add some marriage prep on top! If you are single, married, divorced, or somewhere in between it all, this. is. for. you.
Today, I want to touch on an in our lives that usually isn’t mentioned when we are talking about thriving relationships. I would argue that by learning to be mindful of this, taking an honest heart-check, and having the courage to do some of your own work, you can change your life and relationships. And I’m talking for the better.
We live in a culture that surrounds us with messages that our value is based on what we look like and what we can achieve in life. I’m just going to call it what it is and say that is absolute bull crap. You, my friend, were born with inherent worth and you are beyond valuable, just as you are. Not when you lose 10 pounds, not when you finish your degree, buy your dream house, or make “enough” money.
Right now, in your own skin, you are valuable and loved.
I’ll be the first to say that this concept “makes sense” intellectually, but it is incredibly difficult to “feel,” believe in your heart, and live out. Do you feel like you can’t ever do enough? Say the right thing? Do you feel like you are constantly falling short? Are you comparing yourself to others? How many times a day do you say, “I’m sorry?” What are you apologizing for? Are you constantly seeking the approval and affirmation of others? Let me tell you this, it will never be enough. Contentment, true joy, and peace in life comes when you come to a place of self-acceptance. When you recognize that you aren’t less than others or better than them. You begin to look at others eye-to-eye and respect them for who they are and respect yourself for who you are. No questions asked. Because you are a human, not because of what you do or what size pants you wear.
Today, try to be mindful of the messages you tell yourself and the stories you make up in your mind about other people. Learn to challenge those thoughts and communicate a positive, life-giving, truth-speaking message to yourself. By learning to change our thoughts about ourselves, we can learn to change the way we see ourselves and thus how we interact with the world and people around us.